Archive for August, 2010

photos by Natalie Wang

A famous woman who tapes her bra together once said, “I want to go to there,” and that is how I feel about Italy.  But guess what?  I’m going, to there, to Italy, for my mom’s 50^th birthday, because she saw Under the Tuscan Sun, and that crap is inspiring.

The first time I went to Italy was on a school trip where we were allowed to drink wine – WINE – which as we know is very very illegal in America if you’re under 21, and everyone strictly adheres to this rule.

The second time I went to Italy I got caught in a torrential downpour that made my pants fall down.  Because they were heavy with water.  Pervert.

The third time I went to Italy, I stayed in a lesbian-run hostel.  Do with that what you will.  Pervert.

So, yeah, I pretty much love it there.  But you know what my favorite thing about Italy is?  Gelato!  Just kidding, I’m not an overenthusiastic sorority girl.  No.  The best part about Italy is that the people dress well.  Oh, sure, you’re always going to run across your Euro-trash contingency, but what continent doesn’t suffer from some form of aesthetic disgustingness?   Take these three gentlemen [of Verona – literary!] for instance.  It certainly helps that they’re all svelte (ahem, America), but let’s focus on the jeans: nice washes, well-fitted and bearing no trace of golden eagles’ wings with a skull and like some old-timey tattoos.  Me, Ed Hardy and some brass knuckles in a windowless room for a few hours…but, I dream.

And another thing!  These men are all killing it with the jackets!  You’ve got your layered blazer look, your bomber jacket and your belted trench all represented and worn, I might add, with great aplomb.  Aplomb aplomb aplomb.

So, in conclusion, dear reader, don’t let those nasty stereotypes of Italian men as mafia thugs and woman-haters mar your view of the uomini italiani.  Google translator says that that means Italian men in Italian.  And that’s all you need to know.

…But here’s a little bit more:

• Jeans: It’s hard to go wrong with Levis and Diesel
• Jackets with international panache at J. Crew for men
• I promise you these sunglasses will never go out of style
• Scott Schuman is a [straight] man who loves fashion and is super good at it

This was the best dressed person in Thailand last time I went.

Photos: http://backyardbill.blogspot.com/

According to this one guy I knew from high school, a lot of overeducated white kids are taking their expensive BA in English from Reid College, crumbling it up, throwing it defiantly into the ocean, and then moving onto a ramshackle farm in upstate New York to produce artisanal cheeses, organic rutabagas and poorly conceived poetry.  This should not be too surprising, because a BA in English, as Garrison Keillor has known for decades, is a useless and embarrassing blight which will not actually garner you a job in a real city that anybody wants to live in.  Not that I would know.  From experience.

But you know what?  Just because that recent article in the New York Times Magazine is telling all 20-somethings that our lives are stuck in a terrifying space vacuum because we’re entitled and the economy is failing, doesn’t mean that we can’t look good even though we’re too poor to live in Manhattan Brooklyn Manhattan (whatever, I don’t know what’s cool; I live in China).

As a testament to this new concept of fashion on the farm, take a look at Pippa, chubby Joaquin Phoenix and Mr. Mort (his real name), who I’m guessing is some sort of door-to-door elixir salesman.  So what if you can’t afford San Francisco rent?  So what if you’ll never earn back the money your liberal arts degree cost your parents?  You can still wear sweet yellow socks, sexy-ass suspenders or the dandiest little bow-tie this side of Sean Hannity.  Whatever, world.  The countryside is hip once more.  Like Little House on the Prairie.  Without plagues and back-breaking labor.

Chubby Joaquin Phoenix yells, angrily:

I’VE BEEN SELF EMPLOYED FOR 12 YEARS AND WILL CONTINUE TO BE UNTIL THE END.   THROUGHOUT I CONTINUE TO VALUE MY TIME MORE THAN MONEY.
THIS ALLOWS ME TO DO EVERYTHING AND NOTHING.

Wait.  Everything…and nothing?  At the same time?!  Someone call Stephen Hawking!  Or…like…Harry Potter…or Twilight.  Right?

Photo: Regretsy.com

Well, this makes sense.  Especially if you’re going to rob a bank in Mexico and need your face to remain hidden while you effortlessly blend in with the locals.  And your elegantly long ponytail grows out of your chestish/stomachey area.

The amount of misguided people hawking their homemade crap online is truly thrilling.  This crap is also given the moniker “one of a kind”, or OOAK – it has its own acronym, which means it’s IMPORTANT.  This unisex, one-size-fits-all, suitable-for-any-occasion ponchtastic eye-blindery is gracing the pages of this website to serve as a grave reminder to those of you who think that the novelty of have having done-it-yourself is an acceptable substitute for common sense and human decency.  Please don’t foist your home-made yarn nightmare on the rest of the world just because Aunt Janna gave you an I Can Crochet All By Myself! book when you were 9.  She’s dead now.  It’s over.

Just another drop in the wisdom bucket from your friends who care at VainLane.

By the way…there are more (and – surprise! – they’re in stock).

Anne Halvorson, General Manager of The Waterhouse

Opening party of the Waterhouse Boutique Hotel,

South Bund in Shanghai.

They seem to only come out in droves at night. During the doggy days of Shanghai we rarely see interesting attire and it makes me wonder, is Shanghai one of the worst dressed cities? Not at night.

Additionals:

The Waterhouse at the South Bund is a lifestyle, design boutique hotel with 19 rooms, destination restaurant, and the most amazing rooftop cocktail bar with a view of the Huangpu river and the financial district of Pudong.

Anne is wearing a Bodybag’s “le superchain”, a hand-braided leather body wrap made from smooth cow leather, draped over a simple American Apparel dress.

Bodybags is a Shanghai-based company created by two architects, Wendy Saunders and Debby Haepers– Debby was one of the lead architects on the Waterhouse.

Post by Cristina Ng

A wise man recently told me, “si usted habla Inglés, Español y Chino, tiene el mundo entero en sus manos,” and our clever, chic, little friend here is well on her way to world domination with her trilingual skills.  Yes friends, she speaks all three. What you say? That makes you feel dumb for barely speaking your native tongue? Sucks to be you.

But back to the girl, being smart is just one piece of the pie and lucky for Miss Thang, she’s gussied up a simple black jumper with some seriously fun accessories brought back from Barcelona. The belt is unique without being outlandish, making it virtually impossible to snap up a copy round town. It cinches in what could have been a very boring line and that turquoise collar necklace helps fill the line between neck and bust (at least I didn’t say bosom, whoops!) nicely.

La Chiquita obviously has it going on, but I’m going to channel my grandmother and say, “I wish she would do something with her hair.” She’s a cutie, so I would love if she would pull some of it off her face. Possibly a cool summer French braid? A deeper side part with a low side ponytail? Messy chignon with a few loose wavy tendrils in the front? Or if she’s married to her current style, it’s nothing that a trim and deep condition wouldn’t fix. And while I love that she’s keeping her face au naturel, a little bit of black eyeliner never hurt anyone.

Finally, I applaud this risk taker for giving us an example of black and brown playing well together. Let go of your grade school – I learned everything I know about getting dressed from Seventeen magazine – matching rules and have some fun!

Besitos,

Cristinita

For your information:

The wise guy’s restaurant

An almost as pretty necklace

Messy, on purpose, hair

Waterproof Bad Gal Eyeliner will kick Shanghai humidity’s ass in a fight.

More proof that black and brown can be friends.