According to this one guy I knew from high school, a lot of overeducated white kids are taking their expensive BA in English from Reid College, crumbling it up, throwing it defiantly into the ocean, and then moving onto a ramshackle farm in upstate New York to produce artisanal cheeses, organic rutabagas and poorly conceived poetry. This should not be too surprising, because a BA in English, as Garrison Keillor has known for decades, is a useless and embarrassing blight which will not actually garner you a job in a real city that anybody wants to live in. Not that I would know. From experience.
But you know what? Just because that recent article in the New York Times Magazine is telling all 20-somethings that our lives are stuck in a terrifying space vacuum because we’re entitled and the economy is failing, doesn’t mean that we can’t look good even though we’re too poor to live in Manhattan Brooklyn Manhattan (whatever, I don’t know what’s cool; I live in China).
As a testament to this new concept of fashion on the farm, take a look at Pippa, chubby Joaquin Phoenix and Mr. Mort (his real name), who I’m guessing is some sort of door-to-door elixir salesman. So what if you can’t afford San Francisco rent? So what if you’ll never earn back the money your liberal arts degree cost your parents? You can still wear sweet yellow socks, sexy-ass suspenders or the dandiest little bow-tie this side of Sean Hannity. Whatever, world. The countryside is hip once more. Like Little House on the Prairie. Without plagues and back-breaking labor.
Chubby Joaquin Phoenix yells, angrily:
I’VE BEEN SELF EMPLOYED FOR 12 YEARS AND WILL CONTINUE TO BE UNTIL THE END. THROUGHOUT I CONTINUE TO VALUE MY TIME MORE THAN MONEY.
THIS ALLOWS ME TO DO EVERYTHING AND NOTHING.
Wait. Everything…and nothing? At the same time?! Someone call Stephen Hawking! Or…like…Harry Potter…or Twilight. Right?